WASHINGTON -- "My bad." That was the message from outgoing Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson, who said that his statement last week that terrorists could easily contaminate the nation's food supply "lacked specific instructions" as to how such a terrorist plot could be hatched.
In his resignation speech, Mr. Thompson said, "For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do," a statement which Mr. Thompson today called "woefully incomplete."
"It's one thing to say that contaminating the nation's food supply is easy to do and another thing to explain exactly how to do it," Mr. Thompson said.
In order to help terrorists learn precisely how to taint America's food supply, Mr. Thompson said, helpful food-contamination tips would be posted online at the Health and Human Services website.
"Any terrorist madman wanting to contaminate our food supply just needs to click on over to www.hhs.gov/foodcontaminationtips," Mr. Thompson said.
But within hours of Mr. Thompson's speech, international terror mastermind Usama bin-Ladin issued a new tape complaining that he had tried to click on the food-contamination link and had been directed to a page reading "The File You Requested Could Not Be Found."
Mr. Thompson immediately apologized to the international terror community for the non-functioning food-contamination web page.
"Getting a new web page up on the Internet is not an easy thing to do," Mr. Thompson said. "It's certainly not as easy as attacking the nation's food supply."
Thompson apologizes to terrorists
Axis of Evil
Bush Brain Implant
Memorials
New Element Discovered
First Amendment